I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
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I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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