Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize