She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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