can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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