So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
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My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
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Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize