Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
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He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
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He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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