rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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