So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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