Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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