im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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