I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Hippo gnu deer
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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