just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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