Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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