just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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