I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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