why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize