Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize