So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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