Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize