matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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