Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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