If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
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And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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