i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize