i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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