people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize