There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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