Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
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Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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