She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
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HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
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He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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