I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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