i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize