Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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