Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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