so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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