Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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