Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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