just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
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So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
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I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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