i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I wish you could order shots online.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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