We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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