god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
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Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
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I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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