I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I checked into jail on foursquare
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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