I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize