Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
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It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
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They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize