HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize