Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
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I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
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We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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