if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize