This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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