i permit you to call me
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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