Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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