what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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