Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize